A Very Ghett0 Christmas

Due to some unfortunate circumstances at work I have ended up spending Christmas working in the lovely state of Cauleefournya, and specifically the wonderful city of Molesto for Christmas eve. Staying in a decent hotel, but the shining sun and temps of 60 are ruining even the Christmas thoughts I was having, and then, about 10 minutes ago a friendly woman started banging on the door next to me screaming "I want my mutha #*&^$% son right now you mfer, gimme my f-in son. This went on for a good ten minutes before the cops showed up to problem solve, or more likely to cause more problems. Due to my severe phobia of being tazed I choose to stay behind doors. So, let me wish you all a great Christmas. I'm thankful that I'm only in molesto and not Iraq. I'm thankful for my family, my wonderful wife and our wonderful children. Mostly I'm thankful that Tiff will never have to be beating my hotel door down on Christmas eve to get our kids back. So for now, I'll just listen to a little Johnny Denver Christmas and pretend I'm in Mapleton.

Peace out, Yo.

It's the magic number!

Here's my new favorite song, go figure?

This can't fail

I started running Westwater canyon of the Colorado 13 years ago, and I have since run it about 80 times. On one of those first trips I noticed this slide. Every time I have passed it since I have wanted to slide it in a kayak. Wednesday I took the plunge. We had beautiful weather. Greg came and brought his raft. It was nothin but good, good times.

The "Class V" climb

Do you know the last words you ever hear a redneck say before he gets hurt?
Hey Y'all, WATCH THIS!!
I prefer the phrase,"This Can't fail"

Helping to prove Newtons 1st law of Motion
(For you non studious types, it is that an object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted on by another force.)

Proving the Law of Gravity
Who knew that Science could be so enjoyable.
Next time I go paddling we'll work on the Space/Time continuum

Kauai, a mid trip report

Tiff and I were originally planning a Fall Desolation canyon trip with the boys and the dog. That fell through so we decided to take a shot at coming to Kauai. With free flight and free housing (Thanks Nic and Heidi) we figured it was a vacation within our budget(0.00$ otherwise known as free.99$) So after a hellacious time trying to catch a flight to LAX so we could get on the flight to Lihue, we had to split up, with Noah and I coming on the first flight and Noah riding in the only open seat on the plane and me in the cockpit jumpseat. Then by some miracle Tiff and Max were able to hop on another later flight then we all got on the flight here. So now we're here and we don't wanna come home.

About 15 minutes after we got here we were in the water at Kalapaki? beach


Moose Man jumping off the pier at Hanalei.


Hanalei Pier


Noah and I snorkeling in Poipu. He loved it and I love that he loved it.

Alrighty then, that ought to be enough to make most of you a little jealous, there will be more to come fo sho.

The Festival of Meat!

Tiff and I spent the weekend with Murdocks on the 2nd annual "Festival of MEAT" So named after last years 4 species grill-a-thon. This year we only posted 3 species + hotdogs(That won't happen again) Copious amounts of food were consumed and at least 4 of the 7 deadly sins were violated.
Last years quote from Chad Neilson stands as the theme for the now annual trip.
"What I love is the Gluttony!"

Riggin at the ramp. I'm not sure but I think you need to have a PERMIT to run this stretch.

Camp at Upper Cougar.


Toad and Ash and TyTy made stuffed Anaheim peppers from TyTys garden.

The Festival namesake, Meat.
Beef steaks, Pork chops, Elk Sirloin and the obligatory vegetable that no one ate.
(It's not called the festival of veggies)

Toad and TyTy thinking they're funny stuffing Jalapenos in the peppers.
This trick came back to bite them in the ass, literally.

Did I mention there was meat?


After the meat was consumed an unnamed person (Brad, the lawyer) placed hotdogs on the grill, fortunately the real meat had been removed before the grill was violated. Another cruel individual placed what appeared to be bread covered in Butter and Bacon, but alas my dreams were smashed when it turned out to be large pieces of garlic.


Brain, River and Porter survive the "new" hole in Last Chance

I got side surfed pretty good till Creedo came barreling in like a freight train and knocked me out.
(Thanks Creedo.)


The San Rafael Swell provides a Beautiful skyline for the drive home.
Several people were unable to attend, some had to work, some had school. Some had "Other" excuses and we hope he had a good time golfing and shopping with the rich, important, pretty, people in Tahoe!!!

Backpacking, or as Max says, bmackbacking

I'm a firm believer that boating is better than backpacking and here's why. In a kayak, even if I do nothing all day I will eventually get where I'm going. Not so with backpacking, if you don't hike, you don't move, you never arrive. (I know it's the journey and not the destination but if you don't hike there is no journey) Having said all that, there are some places that are worth going and that you cannot boat to. One of those places is the West fork Blacks fork. If you know it, you love it, if you've never heard of it, I'll never tell you where it is. If Uncle Steve reads this I'll be a dead man just for posting the name of the place.

So we put a pack on Max and on Noah and Ani got her own pack. Tiff and I had most of the stuff but the boys carried their own sleeping gear. Max made it about a mile with his pack, Noah was a trooper and carried his all the way in and out. We spent a cold night(Ani's water froze solid) and it could not have been better. This is far and away one of my favorite places in the world.

Starting out, packs on, everyone's feelin good!

Max is done carrying his pack. He carried it about 2.5 miles on the way out but we had taken his sleeping bag out. Both he and Noah we super good kids on this trip.

Me and My boys, Max looks like a bruiser in this pic.


Ani does her part to improve the fishing.


Our camp.

Massive Brook Trout. There are some descent size fish in here but I didn't catch em. If you've never seen one, Brook trout are the most beautiful of all trout.

Cooking a little chow. The boys had cheesy shells and Tiff and I had some chicken and rice. I can't think of a more wonderful spot to be eating my dinner.

Sucks to be a dog when all the humans are eating without you.

Noah boy learning the finer points of throwing a dry fly.
Now is a good time for the first of two Norman McClean quotes, this is from memory so bear with me.
"It's a well known fact that all first rate fishermen on the sea of Galilee were fly fishermen, and that John, the beloved, was a dry fly fisherman."

Max throwin a Caddis. Tiffy tries to stay out of the way.

Tiffy gets all the credit for this fantastic shot.


Little waterfall/logjam on the hike out.


"Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the earths great flood, and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks lie timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.
I am haunted by waters"

Another type of boating

Last Tuesday we took the boys and Greg and Leigh and Peetylias and Mum and Dad up to Strawberry for a little R&R and a fishing, boating, waterskiing, tinfoil dinnering, and marshmallow toasting good time. We had an absolutely fanntastic trip. Thanks Grandpa Brian and Grandma Karen for letting us take the boat.

Here are the photos

Tippy and Noah Fishing, Max being Max(It's a full-time job)

Tippy teaching Noah how to Gamble.


Camp. It was pretty rough :)

US

My Boys.


Sleeping in the bow of the boat.

Wake Up Grandpa!



Tippy rippin it up

Noah heading outside the wake

Max on the Max board

You can call me "Diamond" cause I cut glass
yes I am aware of how stupid that is but I'm leaving it anyway.


Untle Dred wondering what the pain will feel like?

Untle Dred finding out what the pain feels like!


Then we came home and the wind blew our apple tree down.

It's what I know.

I'm not a smart man, never claimed to be. I'm not gifted or talented in any way shape or form. I can read and write and I have limited mathematical abilities. There are some things however that I know quite well. They include flying aeroplanes, avoiding hard labor, and enjoying river trips. I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the last subject. You name a river trip and I've either been there, planning on going there soon, or am adding it to my wish list. I have several shirts that I wear continuously that proclaim "Kayaking makes me Happy" and if you know me at all you know that those are prophetic words. With all this said I believe that I can now proclaim with a fair amount of certainty that "The Middle Fork of the Salmon" is THEE greatest private river trip in this great nation of ours. What about the Grand Canyon you ask, well the Grand is the grand and it's a great trip but it is 90% flat water interspersed with HUGE whitewater, the MFS has continuous gradient. How about the Selway you say, the Selway is amazing and the fishing is better than the MFS but the Selway is 47 miles, The MFS is 100, and the Middlefork has

HOT SPRINGS!
Thanks Ash for the invite!

enjoy!

Nate's boat coming down the ramp on the morning we launched


Camp the first night


T-ricky, Tippy and Fancy Nancy run Tappan III


Waterfall Creek
(I'm Happy!)

Camp at Marble Creek left
(toady makin Navajo tacos= good livin)

Trail Flat
That is HOT water people.

Obligatory "Pork" photo
Like Uncle Steve says "When we float, Pigs die"


Nate and Richard in Marble Creek


Eatin a piece of Humble Pie in Marble


Fat guy throwing fat flies at beautiful West Slope Cutthroat


Last night at Elk Bar


It's My belief that God created "Rivers and streams to beautify and give diversity to the face of the earth" Meaning rivers are here to be beautiful and to be enJOYED... and "man is that he may have joy" so there you have it, to float the Middlefork is to fulfill both the rivers purpose, and mine!